Loneliness Blues

It's Friday.

I'm alone.

What a loser am I.

Cause Kate Told Everyone To Do This

Ok, so I guess I'll do the playlist questionaire thingy too. Here goes (Note: I'm reeeeaaaaaaaaaaaally eclectic, so this is from Contemporary Christian to Rock and so forth, so this will be very odd):

What do you think of me, iPod?
"In the Belly of the Whale" by the Newsboys (huh? Is this where you think I should go?)

Will I have a happy life?
"Romeo and Juliet" by Prokofiev (Oh crap, I'm doomed to be a star-crossed lover...?!?!? Yeah, probably...)

What do my friends really think of me?
"Tribute"-a song written by someone in the Florida State Band and played by the FSU chiefs, beautiful-(Does this mean you all really love me, even if Kate won't buy me a blanket????)

Do people secretly lust after me?
"Green Tambourine" by the Lemon Pipers (You want my money????)

How can I make myself happy?
"No!" by They Might be Giants (So I guess I just can't make myself happy. Figures.)

What should I do with my life?
"Hail to the Chief" (yeah, the one that the military bands play for the President. I guess I should be the first female President. That'll happen....!)

Why must life be so full of pain?
"Layla" (the older version) by Eric Clapton (I guess you all "got me on my knees...")

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
"Anakin Defeats Sebulba" from Star Wars Episode I soundtrack (ugghhhh...let's not go there...)

Will I ever have children?
"Shindler's List" by John Williams (Wow. I don't like this game anymore.)

Will I die happy?
"Uncle Noah's Ark" by The Wiggles (Ummm...is that an "Who the heck cares" or "Yeah, you'll go out dancing kids songs"???? Yeah, being a teacher, probably the latter.)

Can you give me some advice?
"The Chipmunk Song"-you know, the old Christmas song "Christmas, Christmastime is here-(I guess that means I need Christmas not to be late...yeah, ok.)

What do you think happiness is?
"Unforgiven II" by Metallica (You think happiness is for your significant other to be unforgiven too? Man, you are screwed up...)

What's my favorite fetish?
"The Rose" by Bette Midler (Didn't know I had a rose fetish...)

The Worst Thing about Coming to Visit in Memphis...

...is having to go back home. No, no sarcastic remarks at the moment, cause I really fail to have any. I hope the few of you I still keep in contact with in te real world realize just how special and precious you are to me. Your my sanity point; my reminder that some people out there actually do care. Granted, I can't say I've tried to stay in touch with the real world back in Florida...

...and I'm certain my loneliness there is partially my fault. I just don't like superficiality, and I see it on so many levels in some places that it makes me sick.

And God how I pray not to be superficial. I think you all know who I am and where I stand on things...

...and to get back to my point, I hope you all know how much I love you.

And Kate, I hope you know just how special of a friend you are to me. It's really true that we just sort of pick up where we left off every time we get together, like I just saw you yesterday. Your friendship is the kind that only comes once in a lifetime.

And now I'm all misty, I should probably be getting to sleep, though I might not do that for a while.

Hope I get to visit you again soon, or visa versa. A year flies by, but not while you're living in it.

And just to reiterate, I love you all.

Luggage Pick Up Fun

Ok, so I'm in Memphis now, and enjoying being with friends so much. It has been such a long time since I've had people to talk to in the non-internet world. Not to say that I don't appreciate you guys, and probably more than you know. You keep me sane on those nights when I need to vent and there's no one. Or when I just need non-autistic 5 year old contact.

Not that I don't totally love "my kids" either. I think most of you know that I do.

But anyway, what I wanted to give you all a taste of baggage claim in the Memphis airport. First of all, Kate and I waited like 15 or 20 minutes for luggage to come AT ALL. THEN the had the luggage come from a different carosel. And THEN I didn't have any obnoxious ways for us to find MY luggage, so we had to guess at which was mine. I thought I saw it, and it was like 900 pounds, so when Kate grabbed the bag she couldn't get it off the carosel, so it pratically drug her around with it. So some guy helped us get the luggage off the carosel...and we saw that it had a tag marked, "heavy." I was wondering if I REALLY packed THAT many clothes, and then realized it was not my bag. And it was too heavy to get back on the carosel, so I said to guy who helped us get it down, "That's not my bag." We proceeded to keep looking for the right one.

We found it. Couldn't get that one off the carosel either. So it went around for another spin, and we tagged it as being "the one next to the red suitcase." Helper dude pipes up with, "Is that your suitcase?" (referring to heavy suitcase that was NOT mine). I told him no, and he said that it should go back on. Weeeeell, HELLO, IF WE COULDN'T GET IT OFF THE CAROSEL, WE CERTAINLY CAN'T GET IT BACK ON. He never put it back on.

So it sat. And we finally managed to yank the RIGHT bag off the carosel. And we checked it 5 times before leaving the airport to be certain.

Baggage claim is fuuuuuun.

But being in Memphis is even MORE fun. I love you guys.

Home, home, where I wanted to go...
You are home, home, where I wanted to go...

from "Clocks" by Coldplay

Coming Soon to the Memphis International Airport...

...is the one, the only TYPHOID CARRIE. Be afraid, be very afraid.

T-minus 3.5 hours and counting...

If I Can Just Make it Through A Little Over one More Month...

Ok, so I haven't written here in a looooooong time. Between lesson plans, IEPs, classes, and what little life I do have, I think I have enough going to push me just to the edge. It's a highly stressful time, and although I know God doesn't give more than I can handle, I sure can't handle all this stuff without Him, cause I think I could just about go crazy at the moment.

But thank God that this time next week two IEPs will be drafted and at least one finalized, one paper should be finished and ready to turn in, and I'll be ON VACATION IN TENNESSEE.

I need it. Man, do I need it...

As a side note: I did get a good observation report. Despite the fact we had a few of our wonderful autistic behaviors during the observed circle time (getting up and wandering, screaming when not getting one's way, etc.) the principal thought I was effectively involved with the kids, following a logical progression in the lesson, etc, etc. Nice to start out on the right foot.