Totally Frustrated

Ok, as everyone knows I have 1.)Been working with Destiny on a consistent basis, and 2.) Been wanting to teach profoundly handicapped children, preferrably of a younger age. Well, through working with Destiny, I've gotten back in contact with the person who got me started along the vein of teaching in Special Education, someone whose daughter I taught as a three-year-old. I have been strongly advised that I should stick with profoundly handicapped students, and younger ones as well due to my size. In fact, she mentioned that someone who interviewed me for a position teaching 2nd to 5th grade students with Autism called her for a reference on me, mentioning a concern with my size in being able to restrain students (because Autistic children CAN get violent).

So, all of this advice jives as far as what I really think I am good at and "meant to do." So why am I still frustrated? Simple. I'm being discriminated against because I'm small. Like, what the hell am I supposed to do about that? I can't exactly fix that one...

...and it just hurts that this is probably the reason I've lost out on several jobs. I mean, how shallow. I've got qualifications to teach these kids, and it's all coming down to MY SIZE. I feel somewhat hopeless, even knowing that this person also says that a position at her school in the PreK profoundly handicapped program is opening up and she will try to pull strings for me/recommend me. And I totally could be happy with this once we figure out the logistics of getting me certified to teach these kids (I currently have all the paperwork for a temp license in Special Ed K-12). And of course, this is all supposing this were even to work out.

Hell, maybe they'll think I'm too small for that too. When is this ever going to end? *sighs* Again I'm struggling with the fact that I honestly cannot take much more of this.