Stupid Minor Things`

Some of those extremely stupid and trival things I spoke about somewhere in my last post have already cropped up. It hasn't been a bad day overall; went to the Alhambra Dinner Theatre to see Roger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella with my Mom and some extended family members, which took up the majority of the late morning/early afternoon. Then I finished up some classwork for my final week of summer school. Talked to Kate for a while online.

But after that...played a game called Flux on my PC. And that was the extent of the profound things I did. You can pretty much say my little black cloud formed and has been here pretty much all evening, and at the moment no one is around to distract me from it. Considering everything that I've been posting about, I think this feeling is pretty minor...

...but then why does it keep persisting? I hate being alone, and that's the root of my problem. Sure, I like my space. Sure, I love my family to death. But what is it I do for myself? That's right. I play computer, play guitar and flute, go to school...

...and wish I was in Memphis, Tennessee with friends and with some significant other who loves me for me. I DON'T THINK THIS IS TOO MUCH TO ASK, DOES ANYONE ELSE?!? Sometimes I feel like I've missed something regarding finding a significant other, like I'm not doing enough to even find anyone, etc. etc. Heck, I'm not doing anything anymore really. I figure I'd rather be alone than deal with the rejection that's inevitable.

So what the hell is the solution to how I'm feeling? How in the world can I get used to this loneliness?

Love Song For No One
by John Mayer

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

P.S. Thanks to Kate for sending me this song. The lyrics pretty much hit the nail on the head today.