Wednesday, October 07, 2009

So Tired...

I truly wonder sometimes why things happen the way that they do. I've been holding alot in to myself, and it's starting to really drive me crazy. I'm sitting here in a house I have a perfectly good offer on, and the bank won't even reject it or counter it, even after 6 months. I put another offer down on what seemed to be a fairly decent home only to find mold and potential termite activity on the inspection. The bank that owns this house (it's a foreclosure) won't treat either it appears. My FHA loan probably won't be approved with things like that going on in the home, and furthermore with all the other work the house needs I don't have the money for the repair should the loan be approved.

I'm beyond frustrated. So if anybody wonders why I seem a little scarce, I've been having alot of difficulty dealing with all this. I'm told that house buying just isn't this way. So I guess I'm the lucky one. I'm about ready to give it entirely up.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Nothing all that new...but maybe

My apologies ahead of time for the less than enthusiastic bent of this post. You see, I've been pondering over everything that has (or hasn't) happened this summer, and the picture seems pretty bleak. Unfortunately, I tend to be one of those "cup half empty" people, so why don't I start right there?

1. I have been waiting on approval on the house for 4 months, and currently I am only renting.
2. This has been one of the most painfully quiet summers I think I have ever had. Granted, people have their own lives to attend to, but I haven't seen anyone much in person for a long time. I haven't even really talked with anyone online much, which is saying something for an internet junkie like myself.
3. On a somewhat related note, my desktop computer crashed on me back in June. I was rewriting a story for editing and content, and although I'd only gotten about 20 pages in, I'm pretty sure I lost some substantially rewritten material. Which really sucks.

And because I think I should and because not necessarily because I feel it, here is the glass half full side:

1. The government negotiator has been assigned finally, which is a key component to the short sale. Something (should) be happening soon.
2. I haven't had to answer to anyone else's schedule. Not sure if that is a good thing or not, but at least no one is telling me what to do or where to go. Despite this, I think I'd really like at least a modicum more of human contact, on any level, than what I seem to have right now.
3. I do have my desktop back and operating, and some of the story is saved to a flash drive. I'm just afraid to see what I lost and haven't looked. Which is stupid really, especially considering I can probably recover where I was going with the edit fairly easily and may only be lacking 5 to 10 pages of material. It's just the lost effort I put into this the first time. Which all in all is REALLY stupid considering I probably will never have any material that will be good enough to publish anyway. It's merely a hobby.

So I'm not sure what this post all means. I guess I'd like someone out there to say, "Hey, I get where you are coming from," or "Yeah, I understand." I hate to seem as though I'm pining for sympathy, and I really don't think that I am either. Being understood and thought about is a valuable thing, even for someone who tends to be a loner.

And maybe that is what my point is after all.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Comcast Strangeness

So up until around 11:45 am, I was happily watching channel 4 HD on Comcast. I went to shower, came back, and suddenly no more signal, and the lovely "ONE MOMENT PLEASE: THIS CHANNEL WILL BE AVAILABLE SHORTLY." message was up. So I figured it was a one-channel broadcast issue.

Fat chance.

Not only is channel 4 (both regular and HD) not working, neither is Food Network, or A&E, or USA (all not broadcasting in regular OR HD). So I call the brilliant techs at comcast. "Well, I'm not showing any station outages. Let me send a signal to your box." So I wait. No change. "Ok, so wait about an hour and see if it resolves itself, then call back of there is no change."

An hour later, no change. I talk to tech #2. "Let me send a signal." No change. "Unplug the box and replug it." No change. So NOW I am waiting for the internal control to "no longer be backed up." What the....????

What this amounts to is me getting to pay for ANOTHER tech to come out here and (hopefully) repair the problem. And of course, these are all the channels I watch ALOT. And for some reason, after having quite a bit of experience talking to the Comcast phone techs, I have the feeling they really don't know what they are doing.

This is annoying.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

To Fix or Not to Fix, Is that Really the Question?

Most of you know I've been teaching students with autism for over three years now. What you may or may not know is just how prevalent the disorder is, and how much it varies from one child to another. I've got kids in my class who are highly intelligent- potentially gifted- to kids who just need to learn to eat with a fork and play with toys correctly. And the majority of these babies don't say "I love you" to their parents, although many of them show it better than anyone who is speaking and "normal" ever could.

The other amazing thing about being a teacher of students with ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) is meeting families who have children "on the spectrum." Because the disorder is so prevalent, that really happens more often than you might think. The people next door, so-and-so's cousin, nephew, sister, or in my case, the grandchild of the lady who sits next to me in the church orchestra.

We had a good conversation the other day about the whole "my child has been cured of autism" debate that you might have heard of. This seems to be popular, particularly with people in Hollywood (I can't remember the actress's name that claims this. She is marrying or has married Jim Carey). Now, I'll admit I'm still fairly new to dealing with ASD. But just from being around these kiddos, I wouldn't say there is any specific "cure" just yet. I've seen kids who go to multiple therapies, kids who are on the gluten-casein free diets, kids who spend time in hyperbaric chambers, and on and on. But even with all of this, I haven't seen any of them "cured." I've seen them appear to "get better." But even so, they still have autism, and it's still apparent.

So my problem in all of this "cure ASD" business is this: sure, you want your kid, grandchild, nephew, cousin to get better. And certainly you are, as the lady that sits by me stated, going to do everything you can to help them. But as she also pointed out, at what point are you going to accept the ASD as what is? Currently, there is no cure for Autism. The disorder is a beast, and it lingers even with all the multiple therapies that are available. I know it's a terrible thing to have a child that can't say "I love you."

But you've got to know where to draw the line too. Now, because I'm a Christian, I tend to believe that these kids with ASD are here for a reason. And I'm not saying we shouldn't continue to strive to find a cure. But in the meantime, rejoice in what you do have. They may not have the words to express it, but they are showing you that they love you every day, in one way or another if you look. And going into my fourth year of teaching these babies, I can tell you that when people actually STOP and take the time to tap into the way these guys (and gals) do communicate, you can find a true beacon of light shining within, no matter how much the ASD affects them.

So where do you draw your line between "fixing" a child with ASD to "not fixing." I'm certain it's a blurry line. And as stated in a "House" episode, "no one chooses this" (in reference to having a child with Autism). But then, how often do we choose a lot of things that happen in our lives? Rarely. You've got to know when to fight for a cure to this monstrous thing known as Autism, and when to just love the child with ASD for just who they are. And if you haven't found that beacon shining within just yet, don't give up hope. It's there.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Annoying House Buying Issues

Okay, I'm in the house, and the apartment keys get turned in tomorrow. But it's been over 3 months and I am STILL waiting on approval from the bank/mortgage company. WHY IS THIS TAKING SO DARN LONG? The worst part is, we think the lien holder may be coming out to do another "BPO," which is code for the true value of the house with all the work it needs, so I can't do ANYTHING as far as correcting issues in the house. I swear the neighbors are probably wondering why the heck I haven't done anything with the blasted dead front yard. They probably think another idiotic renter is living in here. I could swear the people across the street have been staring spitefully at me since I moved in.

I don't know how much more of this waiting I can take, but then I'm here now, and the apartment is gone. So there are no choices left. Grrr.

In other news, my repaired laptop appears to be working wonderfully. Goodbye annoying screen lines.