Playlist Reboot Day 7: Kryptonite

Posted on 28th April 2012 in Uncategorized

Man, sometimes I think the county expects me to be a miracle worker.  It has been a highly stressful, frustrating week.  I have gone from having a small class of students that I knew well to a class with those kids plus three more; one with seriously intense behaviors.  Behaviors that I can,  on the surface, address…

…but behaviors that really need something I can’t give this kid.  I HATE that parents assume their kids are young and resilent and don’t remember things.  News flash: Yes they do.  This kid really needs some psychological help for things he’s seen and heard and I am NOT in any way qualified to do that.  And all those behaviors that I’m addressing on the surface, just maybe they would be better served in another classroom setting with the correct professionals.  Or at least by professionals that the mother needs to seek out on her own.  I mean, really, if it all affected her the way that I hear, you’d think she’d have the sense to know it affects her kids too.  But maybe I am asking for too much.

But anyway, I am really still alive.  And frustrated.  But somehow, with less than 7 weeks of school left, I’m going to deal with this and come out on the up side.  For the good of this child.  Or at least I hope so.

from Kryptonite by Three Doors Down:

Well I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind
I left my body lying somewhere in the sands of time
But I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
I feel there is nothing I can do, yeah

I watched the world float to the dark side of the moon
After all I knew it had to be something to do with you
I really don’t mind what happens now and then
As long as you’ll be my friend at the end

And if I go crazy then will you still call me Superman?
If I’m alive and well, will you be there holding my hand?
I’ll keep you by my side with my superhuman might

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Playlist Reboot Day 6: Again

Posted on 18th April 2012 in Uncategorized

So I’m tired and it’s been a physically and emotionally draining week so far. But I think we are getting somewhere with the two challenging new students and with the behaviors of a few others. I haven’t a whole heck of alot to say otherwise. For one thing, I can’t really talk about school stuff for privacy reasons. And that aside, my brain remains just fried. I put all my heart and soul into my job, and I’m just hoping that some day it doesn’t suck me dry. Too dry to be of interest to anyone, you know?

Or do you?

So I was trying to think of a song, one that I thought, “Gee, I wish I had a copy of that” when I listen to it on the radio. Not sure why this one came to mind, but I think it has something to do with the lyrics, as always.

from Again by Flyleaf:

I love the way that your heart breaks
With every injustice and deadly fate
Praying it all will be new
And living like it all depends on you

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

Love that you’re never satisfied
With face value wisdom and happy lies
You take what they say and go back and cry
You’re so close to me that you nearly died

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

They don’t have to understand you
Be still
Wait and know I understand you
Be still
Be still

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
And only surrender will help you now
The floodgates are breaking and pouring out

Here you are down on your knees
Trying to find air to breathe
Right where I want you to be again
I love you please see and believe again

Here you are down on your knees again
Trying to find air to breathe again
Right where I want you to be again
See and believe!

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Playlist Reboot Day 5: He

Posted on 16th April 2012 in Uncategorized

I’ll explain more tomorrow, but I’m out of time before bed. I think you can figure this one out if you’ve been reading, since it’s been on my mind and my heart since I started this back up…

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Playlist Reboot Day 4: You Gotta Be

Posted on 15th April 2012 in Uncategorized

Alot of things are going down in the classroom this week that are going to require me to do what it is that I do: take my classroom, decide what I want done, and make it so. I’ve written before about having an assistant that doesn’t really follow my desires. It hasn’t changed, even after several chats with the site coach and lots of modeling and redirection. And to make it all worse, the student she works with is the one who is potentially being abused…

…and definitely being neglected…

…at home. This cannot keep happening. I want things the way I said I want them in the room, and I’m not so good with confrontations. Ok, I’m not good with them AT ALL. But this is about what is best for my students.

And by the way, have I mentioned this is my classroom. It should be the way I want it to be, to hell with who I offend, as long as I’ve done my best to gently introduce how I want it previously. It’s about the children, and not about the petty thoughts of the adults, who should by all means know better.

So here is my anthem for the week. From “You Gotta Be” by Des’ree:

Listen as your day unfolds
Challenge what the future holds
Try and keep your head up to the sky
Lovers, they may cause you tears
Go ahead release your fears
Stand up and be counted
Don’t be ashamed to cry
You gotta be
You gotta be bad, you gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser, you gotta be hard
You gotta be tough, you gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool, you gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know, all I know, love will save the day

And because it is totally worth the listen for a good, uplifting song, I’m embedding it.


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Playlist Reboot Day 3: Anywhere

Posted on 14th April 2012 in Uncategorized

Of note: I have posted 3 consecutive days now. Go me!

I haven’t any song that has any great connection to anything that happened today. But really, did you think I was going to wait that long before posting an Evanescence song on the Playlist Reboot? So here it is. This song is actually my ringtone. For (maybe?) obvious reasons. I’m 32, soon to be 33, and I have an awesomely rich, full life. But at the same time, the one thing that I want (and most people want I think, if they really admit it to themselves) is to find that someone that might accept me for me, and take me “Anywhere.” So you can call this a dream song, with hope that maybe…

…someday. And the song is really awesome, so listen to it here. (Of note, the “yeah, yeah…” stuff at the end seems to be a portion of “Lies” from the same Album, Origin. I have no idea why it’s there. But hey, that’s a good song. Listen to that one here.

Wow, you got two songs in one post. But here are some lyrics from “Anywhere”

Dear my love, haven’t you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven’t you longed to be free
I can’t keep pretending that I don’t even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand

We’re leaving here tonight
There’s no need to tell anyone
They’d only hold us down
So by the morning light
We’ll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name

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Playlist Reboot Day 2: Slow Fade

Posted on 13th April 2012 in Uncategorized

A few months ago I went to a “Casting Crowns” concert at church. I love how far Christian music as a whole has moved over the years. I’ve heard more than one person recently mention, “God Rock” like it was something terrible…or at least, that is the way I interpreted it. Well, here is how I interpret my “God Rock.” If I believe in a God, why shouldn’t I want to listen to music that talks about Him? And shouldn’t people want to write music about Him? What else SHOULD I sing about? I don’t know…

…it just seems like a serious slam. I listen to all kinds of music, not just Christian. And Christian music, at least the variety I listen to, is far more than just hymns and praise songs (which I feel are very important, so don’t get me wrong). Casting Crowns is a band that dares to talk about alot of issues and not just give “cotton candy” answers to them. And to top it all off, with what is going on at work with the one student, the lyrics to this one particular song seem to be highly appropo. “People never crumble in a day…it’s a slow fade.” Whatever is going on in his life, that is causing so much heartache and grief that I see via his behaviors, didn’t happen in just a mere day.

And it never does with anyone. It truly is a “Slow Fade.”

From Slow Fade  by Casting Crowns:

Be careful little eyes what you see
It’s the second glance that ties your hands as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it’s the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

It’s a slow fade when you give yourself away
It’s a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It’s a slow fade, it’s a slow fade

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Playlist Reboot Day 1: Someone’s Waiting for You (Who Will Rescue Me?)

Posted on 12th April 2012 in Uncategorized

First things first, obviously, I did a really sucky job staying on top of the playlist. So I’m rebooting the thing. And let’s do it this way: I’m going to make no promises to post EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’m going to try, sure. But I’m not going to stress and try to “make up” lost days. I’m going to make this about the music AND about my life. And I’m going to try to stick with it 365 days, whether or not they are specifically 365 CONSECUTIVE days or not.

So what’s been up with me? For the most part, lots of wonderful, good stuff. I’m loving the new school I’m at, and my coworkers are awesome. My students are wonderful as well. And even though the district in all its wisdom decided to throw me a curve ball, giving me two really intense students in the last nine weeks of school, things are still awesome. These are kids that have really been, for lack of any nicer way to say it, put out to pasture by their former general education teachers. I’m sure teaching a class of 25 kindergarteners with 1 who is having behavior problems is difficult. But sheesh, people, try.

So what has not been so good? I am going to preface all this by saying I’m a school teacher, and privacy is of great importance. I’m going to be very vague about all this due to privacy issues as well as because it involves a minor. A beautiful little boy, who is nonverbal, but has a world of things he really wants to tell me. He points to stuff, he signs quite a few things. He’s happy. He can be a challenge, but he really wants to please and be loved.

But he returned to me from spring break in foster care and with stitches in his arm. We don’t know what happened; he can’t tell us. And that’s how it’s been. Something about it all just isn’t right. But I can’t prove it. It hurts me, to the point that every time I talk about it (and as I’m writing this), I cry.

He’s back at home now. But there are proceedings in the works. Pray that what happens is truly what is best for his safety and his care.

From Disney’s The Rescuers 1977, “Someone’s Waiting for You (Who Will Rescue Me?)”:

Be brave little one
Make a wish for each sad little tear
Hold your head up though no one is near
Someone’s waiting for you

Don’t cry little one
There’ll be a smile where a frown used to be
You’ll be part of the love that you see
Someone’s waiting for you

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Carrie’s Playlist 365 Day 116: Some Gave All

Posted on 11th November 2011 in Uncategorized

I am not much of a country music fan. But there are a few that I like, and on this, Veteran’s day, I think it’s appropriate to say little about myself and pay tribute to those who have fought and continue to fight for our freedom. From “Some Gave All” by Billy Ray Cyrus:

All gave some
And some gave all
Some stood true for the red, white and blue
And some had to fall
So if you ever think of me
Think about your liberties and recall
Some gave all…


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Carrie’s Playlist 365 Day 115: Good Enough

Posted on 10th November 2011 in Uncategorized

I swear, this is NOT Evanescence’s “Good Enough.” At least, NOT YET. This is a tribute to all those good 80′s movies that I love. I swear, they don’t make movies like this anymore! No tales about ordinary, every day kids, having good err…wholesome adventure and getting major treasure. It’s all CGI driven, major special effects.

Man, I miss this sort of stuff. And on top of that, all these 80′s flicks had AWESOME theme songs. I mean, think about it. I know you can name a few yourself.

Tonight’s 80′s flashback is from the 80′s “Goonies.” From “Good Enough” sung by Cyndi Lauper:

Here we are
Hanging onto strains of greed and blues
Break the chain then we break down
Oh it’s not real if you don’t feel it
Unspoken expectations
Ideals you used to play with
They’ve finally taken shape for us.

What’s good enough for you
Is good enough for me
It’s good enough
It’s good enough for me
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

(And by the way, if you haven’t heard of this song or watched this movie, you must have been born way too late to appreciate either anyway…)

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Carrie’s Playlist 365: Rainbow Connection

Posted on 9th November 2011 in Uncategorized

I have loved this song since I was tiny. I don’t care that Kermit the Froge sings it; the lyrics, whoever wrote them, are pretty darn good. And I’m going to leave it at that because: 1. It’s late. 2. I am posting this WAAAAY backdated, and, 3. BECAUSE I CAN!

From “Rainbow Connection:

Have you been half asleep?
And have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same
I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it
It’s something that I’m supposed to be
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection
The lovers, the dreamers, and me…

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